Craziness...Mass Craziness

Well another night, another graveyard shift. Yikes! It doesnt seem to matter even if I get 8 hours of sleep during the day, my body gets so tired and feels so physically sick after work. Then again, it doesnt help that I barely eat anything...maybe I should start remembering to eat at least 2 meals a day, instead of one or less...mwhaha. It seems like tonight everyone needs help at work. Call bells go off almost exactly at the same time, bed alarms ring. By mid shift I get so tired I start hearing the bells in my head. I realized these past couple of days that I'm physically, mentally and spiritually exhausted. I know something has got to give. I know things have to change, but right now I'm so totally not in the position to do anything about it. I'm in the endure stage of seasons right now. I know God is sustaining me, I know so sweetly how at low moments or periods of extreme exhaustion, how the Holy Spirit reaffirms what I believe by whispering sweet words of scriptures to me and helping me to think and ponder upon those words and meanings. If I didnt have that, especailly during this period, during these trials, if I didnt have the sweet whisperings, the confirmation in my heart and mind, and the fruits of the Spirit that comes purley from my Heavenly Father...life would not and could not be worth enduring for. There would be nothing to look to for protection and safety, nothing to look to for peace.

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Things are crazy and scary....sometimes very lonely. Sometimes I want to keep moving forward...and other times I'm ready to throw in the towel and say that I quit. This season is hard, I knew it would be when I decided to move, when I decided to convert to the church, when I decided to leave my premortal state...but if God is beside me, and in front of me....if my Savior Jesus Christ is on my side and standing up for me, and if the Holy Ghost will guide me as long as I remain worthy.....then I dont think I have much to worry about, because where God guides, he provides..